You don't have to be everyone's cup of tea. Especially when what they really need is water. 😉
I've spent most of my career building relationships, and if you've read more than a handful of my blogs, you probably know how strongly I believe that people do business with people they know, like, and trust.
But lately, I've been thinking about that middle word. Like.
Do we actually have to like someone to do business with them?
I can think of plenty of people I've worked with over the years who I probably wouldn't choose to spend my Saturday afternoon with. We didn't necessarily have much in common, didn't always see eye to eye, and occasionally had very different approaches to getting things done.
But they were incredibly good at what they did.
I respected their experience, trusted their judgment, and knew that when I needed something done well, they were the person to call.
Isn't that what we're looking for in a professional relationship?
Somewhere along the way, I think we've started confusing likability with compatibility. We want to enjoy the people we work with, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I certainly prefer working with people I genuinely enjoy! But being someone I'd love to have coffee with doesn't automatically make you the best person for the job.
The opposite is true, too.
Someone can be incredibly knowledgeable, experienced, and effective without being particularly warm, outgoing, or interested in developing a personal relationship.
That doesn't diminish their expertise.
Think about the last time you needed an attorney, accountant, contractor, or specialist. Did you choose them because you thought they'd be fun to have dinner with? Or because you believed they understood your needs and could deliver the outcome you were looking for?
Ideally, you find someone who checks both boxes. But if you had to choose, which one matters more?
For me, the answer depends on the relationship and the work involved.
If I'm hiring someone for a specific project, I might care much more about their qualifications, reliability, and ability to deliver than whether we have much in common personally.
But if I'm inviting someone into my business for a six- or twelve-month advisory partnership, the equation changes a little. We're going to spend time together, discuss challenges, make decisions, and occasionally have conversations that aren't particularly comfortable.
We don't need to become best friends, but we do need to communicate well, respect each other's perspectives, and trust that we're working toward the same goals.
That's compatibility. And I think it's much more important than simply being likable.
There's another side to this that I find interesting, especially when we're talking about business development.
How often do we mistake a pleasant conversation for a promising business opportunity?
We've all had those coffee meetings where the conversation flows effortlessly. We discover mutual connections, laugh about shared experiences, and leave thinking, "That was great! We should definitely work together." But should we?
Enjoying someone's company doesn't necessarily mean their business needs what we offer, that we're the right solution, or that a partnership makes sense.
Likewise, a conversation that feels a little awkward or challenging doesn't automatically mean there's no opportunity.
Some of the most valuable professional relationships I've developed have been with people who think very differently than I do. They challenge my assumptions, ask questions I hadn't considered, and occasionally tell me something I really didn't want to hear.
I don't always enjoy those moments, but I appreciate them. I think there's a lesson in that for both sides of the business relationship.
As business owners, we don't need to be everyone's favorite person. We need to be good at what we do, communicate clearly, follow through on our commitments, and understand who we're best positioned to serve.
As customers, we should be willing to look beyond whether someone feels familiar or immediately likable and consider whether they have the expertise, perspective, and capabilities we actually need.
Of course, none of this is an excuse to be disrespectful, dismissive, or difficult to work with. Professionalism, kindness, and accountability still matter. There's a significant difference between someone who challenges your thinking and someone who makes every interaction unnecessarily miserable.
I don't think we should confuse a lack of personal chemistry with a lack of professional value.
The longer I'm in business, the more I realize that some of the strongest working relationships aren't built on having everything in common.
They're built on mutual respect, clear expectations, complementary strengths, and a shared commitment to doing good work.
So maybe it's time we reconsider that familiar phrase about doing business with people we know, like, and trust.
I still believe in the importance of relationships. That hasn't changed. But perhaps we don't always need to like someone to hire them.
We need to trust their expertise, respect how they work, and believe they're the right person to help us get where we're going.
If we happen to enjoy grabbing coffee together along the way? Well, that's a pretty great bonus.
Built on Relationships. Driven by Growth.
