If you've spent any time in sales, marketing, or business development, you've probably heard some version of this advice:
People do business with people they know, like, and trust.
While I agree with the sentiment, I've always felt like something was missing.
I can know you, like you, and even trust you as a person without ever feeling confident enough to do business with you.
Think about it. We all know people we genuinely enjoy spending time with. People we'd happily meet for coffee, recommend a great restaurant to, or invite to a community event.
But would we trust every one of them to manage an important project, advise our business, or deliver on a promise we've made to someone else? Probably not.
That doesn't make them bad people. It simply means there's a difference between liking someone and having confidence in their professional capabilities.
Trust Has to Be Earned Beyond the Introduction
In 1994, researchers Robert Morgan and Shelby Hunt published The Commitment-Trust Theory of Relationship Marketing, identifying trust and commitment as essential components of successful business relationships.
Their research reinforced something I talk about often: lasting business relationships require more than positive interactions. They require confidence in the other party's reliability and integrity, along with a commitment to maintaining the relationship.
Being personable might get you invited into the conversation, but it doesn't automatically make you the right person for the opportunity and being knowledgeable doesn't mean much if you consistently fail to follow through.
What Makes Someone Worth Referring?
Here's a question I encourage business owners to consider:
If someone referred their best client to you tomorrow, would they feel confident putting their reputation alongside yours?
Referrals aren't simply introductions. They're an extension of someone's credibility. When I introduce two people, I'm not just saying, "I think you'd get along." I'm saying I believe there's a reason these two people should know each other, and that the connection could create meaningful value.
That doesn't mean every introduction needs to result in business. Far from it. But it does mean I'm thoughtful about the people I connect and the expectations those introductions might create.
The same applies when someone is considering hiring you. They want to know that you understand their needs, that you're capable of delivering what you've promised, and that you'll remain engaged after the excitement of the initial conversation wears off.
Relationships Need More Than Good Intentions
This is where consistency becomes so important.
Do you follow up when you say you will?
Do you communicate when circumstances change?
Do you understand the problems your clients are trying to solve?
Do you continue contributing value after the contract is signed?
Perhaps most importantly, are you willing to invest in the relationship even when there isn't an immediate opportunity in front of you?
These aren't necessarily glamorous parts of business development. But they're the behaviors that demonstrate reliability, competence, and commitment over time.
So, Is Know, Like & Trust Wrong?
Not at all. I just don't think it's the finish line. Being known creates awareness. Being liked can make relationships easier to develop. Trust creates confidence.
Sustainable business relationships also need demonstrated capability, consistent action, mutual value, and a willingness to follow through. Being liked might open the door. Being reliable, capable, and committed gives people a reason to keep it open.
That's where meaningful business development happens.
At Classic Customer Service, we help businesses move beyond networking and relationship-building activities to create intentional strategies, stronger partnerships, and consistent follow-through.
If you're ready to build a business development approach that creates lasting momentum, let's have a conversation.
Research reference: Morgan, R. M., & Hunt, S. D. (1994). The Commitment-Trust Theory of Relationship Marketing. Journal of Marketing, 58(3), 20–38. https://doi.org/10.1177/002224299405800302
